So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
