Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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