i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
