there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
