it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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