why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
