he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
