i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
