I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
