I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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