Already got asked if we're dating
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
