am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
