please come you make the beer taste better
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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