I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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