I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
