I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
