Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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