Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
