it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
