can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
honey bunches of taint.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
