yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A+ Viking dick
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
