and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
