You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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