im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
