walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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