dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
