I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
