we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
