I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
