I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
