just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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