WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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