I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
