I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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