so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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