i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
