Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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