I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
