She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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