Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
