He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
