Where did you get a picture of my penis
it's like iHOP with fire
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
