she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
