Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You need Xanax blowdarts
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
