the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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