my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
