Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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