so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
