You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
