Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
