She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
