dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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