after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
