do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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