U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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