She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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