we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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