put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
