so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
